Good morning, FIbroMIGHTS! I've been in a lot of pain for several days now but I really want to post something upbeat. Today is my day off this week and I'm almost giddy with excitement over having hours of freedom to do as I please! I have dropped the boys off at summer camp and I have 5 hours to play with. It's a day for me. This is something I need to stay feeling good, both physically and mentally. Everyone needs time to rest and recuperate, not just FibroMIGHTS. We just need a little more of it. Stress can be a major trigger for pain and depression. Today I have things to get done but I'm going about it in a way that allows me to relax instead of feeling rushed and pressured. Feelings of guilt are trying to creep in but I am squashing them as they come. My husband left for work this morning with orders for me to take it easy today.
We are leaving for a road trip next week (which is going to wreak havoc on me physically, so I am resting while I can!) so I went straight to the tire place after dropping off my little ninjas. If you prepare, waiting for a tire rotation can be calm and restful. A mug of coffee and my tablet had me ready to go. I used to absolutely despise having to sit and wait for things but I have learned to accept forced wait times as a blessing. I always have a book or something to occupy myself so I don't get bored and I look at the wait as rest time that I might get otherwise. Nothing can be expected of me if I'm stuck somewhere waiting on a service, after all. It's all in your perspective.
Next, I headed to the nail salon for some pampering. The guilt monster peeked around the corner at me and mouthed, "why are you spending money?" but I told him to take a hike. My husband even condoned getting my acrylic redone since it helps to keep me from scratching my eczema patches raw. And being on my feet at work for 10 hours a day certainly earns me a pedicure. The pretty toenail design and eyebrow wax were my splurge. I work hard and I deserve a treat now and then. I had 2 people working on me for about an hour--an hour of bliss and being tended to instead of tending to others. That kind of thing is rare in a mommy's world. I left the salon with Tiffany Blue nail tips and jewel-accented toes...and a healthy dose of well-being.
So now I have 3 more hours before retrieving the ninjas from karate camp. Isn't it funny how you forget how to waste time when you're used to being busy all the time? I'm hanging out at Panera to work on this post and do some other computer-related tasks. I've never done the Panera hang-out before and I have to say it's pretty nice. Soothing atmosphere, free wifi, and good eats. However, I am fighting the urge to find errands that would inevitably have me rushing around to completion before camp is over. That would be stressful so I must resist. Must force relaxation and rest! The guilt monster is telling me that I'm being unproductive. Shut up, guilt monster! I don't need your crap! This is what I need right now, this pause. This time to myself will make things better for a few days or so. It will enable me to recoup some spoons.
Overall, I feel really good today. I am in some pain, as always, but I am in really high spirits and feel very bright and vibrant. This is the benefit of down time. FibroMIGHTS have to have this chance to relax without guilt or question. This is the time that allows us to feel like we can continue on with our condition. That we can continue to fight against the pain and have good things in our lives. Too often we can fall prey to depression from the chronic nature of our suffering. It is essential that we find these times for ourselves! A positive outlook and glimmer of hope is what keeps us going. Wallowing must be limited but pausing is necessary. I can be happy, but I have to choose it. And I have hope that more will be learned about fibro and better options will appear for us. Until then, smile through the pain, laugh as much as you can, and know that there are always bright spots amid the storm. Gentle hugs!
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