My spirit animal is a sloth today

Today is one of those days when my body says, "sit the hell down."  I guess I've been pushing through a lot lately and the ME (or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) put the smack down today.  I slept in until almost 10 and still ended up napping in the afternoon.  And now I find myself struggling between feelings of guilt and need.  It can be so hard to listen to my body and what it needs.  I have clothes that need to be hung, makeup work that needs to be done, laundry to be washed, kids, etc.  I did cook us all breakfast but then crawled back into bed with my laptop and notebook to do some work while watching Supernatural.  The crazy thing is that even shifting in bed makes me breathe harder.  That's a big clue to an ME flare, for sure.  I have felt positively bleh today.  I feel like I owe Obi-John and the boys an apology for being so useless today but instead the boys made sure I could rest and Obi-John told me not to apologize.  I'm a lucky lady.

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Ok, so I got too tired to continue the other day.  It's been 3 days now and the ME flare is still going.  I'm now angry.  I'm really angry.  I've never been okay with the phrase "I can't" but it's been forced upon me with this flare.  I have things that need to be done--clothes that have needing hanging for about 5 days, school preparations, etc.  I have things I want to do--games with my boys, cooking, etc.  Instead, I'm back in bed, resting.  Except that I'm frustrated because it seems like no matter how much rest I get I never really feel rested, especially during these flares.  It's not that I don't enjoy binge-watching Netflix.  I just don't enjoy having the other options taken away.  I hate having to say that there is something I can't do.  I hate this.  And yet I don't even have the energy to be good and angry.  I'll be honest, I'm struggling today with being positive.  I'm struggling to be upbeat.  All I can do is hope that tomorrow the flare will begin to ease.