Oil...can...

So you know that scene in "The Wizard of Oz" when Dorothy and the Scarecrow find the Tin Man and he's rusted solid, squeaking out the phrase "oil can"?  Yeah, that's how I feel today.  My spine feels like a solid rod instead of individual vertebrae.  My legs feel weak and knotted.  Even my shoulders and arms are stiff and sore.  Why, you might ask?  The weather.  Yep, fibro has made me a human barometer and that, my friends, is a job I never applied for.  It is a rainy, nasty day.  This whole week is supposed to be more of the same, so I know this is how I will feel all week.  I can help my hormones and I can get sleep but I can't change the weather.

I know some of you can relate and others may be outsiders who are trying to understand what a loved one is going through.  I'm not relating my pain to garner sympathy, but to help others understand or know that they aren't alone. My shoulder and upper arm muscles are so sore that washing my hands makes them hurt.  Crouching down is fine but getting back up takes 3 slow stages and a lot of pain. Don't even look at my back too hard because my skin is so sensitive right now.  Driving is torture because it hurts to turn my neck, holding my arms up to the steering wheel hurts, my calf hurts when working the pedal, my lower back aches from the pressure of pushing pedals and twisting to drive, and the places where my legs meet my pelvis feel like they're being pierced with shards of glass.  I also find myself gritting my teeth so my jaw hurts a bit.  And being in this kind of pain (I rate it a 6) is exhausting.

Unfortunately, being tired and in pain causes Fibro Fury.  The prickly form of irritation that makes me snap at my husband and yell at my kids.  And that leads to guilt because I know it's me and not them--well, not entirely, anyway.  ;)  Ugh.  I want to calm down but every little thing seems huge in the moment.  I'm hoping that wine and some extra magnesium will give me some relief for tomorrow.   I try to keep my smile on but it's hard.  Some days are just like this--full flare fibro.  Coping is tough but I know my triggers and I've learned some tricks to help make it through.  Thank God for my wonderful, understanding, and supportive husband who knows to ignore my outburst and give me kisses and gentle hugs without any back patting.

Gentle hugs, my fibro friends!